We receive comments on occasion with questions that appear not to be sincere or that might have an agenda. That’s okay. However, we know that you may encounter similar questions from others with a different “world view.” We thought that perhaps if we responded to some of our “naysayer” questions here, it might be a help to you.
Below is a recent blog comment followed by Joseph’s response.
“Since Joseph owns his own home, why can’t he live in it? He doesn’t have a wife and kids to support, so his expenses would be low.”
I (Joseph) always enjoy a small chuckle with myself whenever my dad shares comments like this with our family. The reason is the use of the word “can’t.” “Can’t” indicates that the writer thinks this decision has been made by someone other than me. It hasn’t. Dad and Mom provided solid, Biblical guidance for my life when I was younger, and as I have grown up, they have taught us to think critically with the Bible as our foundation.
There are three main reasons why I chose to continue living at our home after I purchased my own house: financial, accountability, and family. Let me explain.
While, yes, it is true that living by myself in my house before I am married would be less expensive than it will be when I have my own family, there still would be significant additional expense, such as food and utilities, that I don’t incur while living at home with my parents. It takes little to realize that living with my family is even less expensive than living alone—almost zero. As a result, I can place what I save toward long-term goals, immediate improvements to my house, and giving. I am very grateful for Dad and Mom’s willing and accommodating spirits to let us live in their home without charge as income-earning young adults.
When the Lord brings me to begin talking with a young lady’s father about courting his daughter, I will approach that father in total honesty. If I was living by myself, I would have no one to back up my word. In my opinion, if I was living alone and said, “You’ll just have to trust me,” that would lend less credibility than the accountability I have welcomed in our family. Living with my family, and having my parents as my accountability partners, I am very grateful for the ability that I have to provide references to my integrity throughout discussions with a father. I believe Jesus gave a precedent for this when He sent the disciples out two-by-two.
Accountability segues into this one very nicely. I love my family. I love spending time with them. We have a great time together! My family members are my best friends, and life would be rather boring without my best friends around me. If/when the Lord brings along the young lady for me, my family’s “best friend” status will transfer to her and my children. Sadly, many in the world cannot comprehend a family model like this.
For a Scriptural basis for this thinking, I look no further than the first family that God created—Adam, Eve, and eventually their children. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” A very practical secondary application in this verse is that it is not good for me to live alone.
My desire is to live a life pleasing to Jesus and a life that is in obedience to His Holy Bible. I hope this makes it understandable and clear as to why I am choosing to live with my family until I am married.
In Christ, Joseph
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.” 1 Peter 3:15
Last night, after dinner and Bible time, some of us went to Joseph’s house for a quick work party. The reason for the party? Dad and Mom will be writing at Joseph’s house soon (exciting!), and because of ongoing construction projects, the house needed a bit of cleaning. We wiped down walls, floorboards, door frames, and cleaned the floors and bathrooms. It was awesome to work together ;).
Joyfully His, Sarah
“The hand of the diligent shall bear rule: but the slothful shall be under tribute.” Proverbs 12:24
Saturday was a “work on Joseph’s house day”! Because of the quantity of items to be thrown away, Joseph rented a dumpster. By Saturday evening, the dumpster was full: carpet, doors and door frames, toilets, bathtub, shower, ceilings from the dining room and kitchen, partial walls, the back porch, and more were piled into the 40-yard container.
It is exciting to see Joseph’s house take a different twist, although it definitely is in its roughest shape until the rebuilding part begins. Out with the old and in with the new! Reminds me of a spiritual analogy. As we rid our lives of sin and repent, the Lord cleanses our heart. Removing sin isn’t easy, just like demolition. In fact, it can be a messy job, as sometimes it requires going back to individuals we have wronged and asking forgiveness. Rebuilding, which is like cleansing from sin, takes work. It takes effort. “Therefore I will judge you, O house of Israel, every one according to his ways, saith the Lord GOD. Repent, and turn yourselves from all your transgressions; so iniquity shall not be your ruin.” (Ezekiel 18:30)
John tore down the porch. It was quite the job. Although at first glance, one might have thought the porch was fine, it wasn’t. The wood was rotted and falling apart–too much to bother trying to repair.
To open up the kitchen, Dad tore out the wall between the dining room and kitchen. Joseph tore out the dining room ceiling as it was built rather strange.
Mixed into the day, Christopher and I worked on two photo sessions with Joshua. He slept most of the time, so that made it nice. Isn’t he adorable?
Back to the work scene:
It was a warm day, and since the guys had taken the ceiling out in the dining room, the attic heat seeped into the house, and it would have been no use to turn on air conditioning.
Near the end of the day, Joseph cut part of the living room wall to open up the dining room a bit more.
Thank you all for your enthusiasm. Even though we haven’t met many of you in person, your support and love for our family is an encouragement.
Love, Sarah PS – No news on Melanie. She is now 39 weeks and her due date is Friday.
A new heart also will I give you, and a new spirit will I put within you: and I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you an heart of flesh.
Joseph bought a house Thursday! It is exciting to see how the Lord brought it all together.
Years ago, Dad and Mom laid forth a “vision” (meaning goals for their future) to my brothers which included purchasing homes debt-free. Each one has taken this goal seriously, working to save their money and praying about the house the Lord would have for them. Nathan, in 2001, bought his home. Christopher, in 2009, bought his home. Joseph, now in 2012, has also bought his. Houses are not bought debt-free easily as everyone knows. It takes years of hard work and saving to accomplish it. My brothers have taken the vision as their own, looking forward to the day they would be able to purchase their homes.
Joseph has been praying for a house, and one day last week, he felt prompted to look online, and found this one, which had only been listed an hour earlier. He was immediately interested and contacted the realtor. Joseph, John, and Jesse did the walk-through tour, and after praying and consulting with Dad (he was with the bus in Salina), Joseph made an offer. It was countered, and Joseph returned with his counter. The seller agreed! The house is about a mile from our house.
Thursday morning, Dad and Joseph met with the realtor at the title company, and Joseph presented his check. After signing his name on several papers, the process was done.
Joseph’s dream has been to either fix up a house or to build one. As it is, the house needs a lot of cosmetic work: from new windows to flooring, to painting, to bathroom work, and more. It is perfect for Joseph! Joseph will continue to live here at home until the Lord calls him to get married.
Truly, we marvel at God’s goodness. Each of my brothers’ house stories is different. Over and over, we have seen how the Lord has provided. Their years of saving and preparing have enabled them, with God’s grace, to achieve their goals.
So, with excitement, we share this with you. Don’t let the world tell you that it’s impossible to purchase a home debt-free or to raise children who won’t rebel. With God, all things are possible. With the Lord Jesus and His Word, it is possible to raise sons who can provide for a single-income family, who can live out the “vision” set before them, and who can live for the Lord Jesus. May each of us be found faithful!
With love, Sarah
Here are some initial pictures. More will be coming as the work progresses!
John and Anna stopped to pose for a picture. The kitchen already looks much different than it did on Thursday. Remodeling has begun!
“And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.”
The Maxwell family and ministry blog of Titus2.com.