It is with broken, grieving hearts that we need to let you know that our Father’s plans for Susannah were much different than ours. Having spent the past three days loving and cherishing every moment with our little girl today we said a final goodbye as her life gently slipped from her.
God is faithful even in the hard times. I must say that I never had a desire to learn that. However, He who didn’t spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all also has a plan for Susannah, Melanie and my life.
Even though this has been far and away the most challenging, yet also sweetest, time of our lives God took our little Susannah from us in a most gentle way. My heartâ€™s deep concern was that I would have to make some very difficult decisions regarding her care. I did not have to and am so grateful. The Lord had His hand on her little body and it was apparent the entire day that she was not long with us.
Please continue to pray for us as we make this difficult transition. In particular for Melanie as her body is still going through recovery.
Thank you to everyone for their love and support. Little Susannah had such an immeasurable prayer covering.
We love our little Susannah and thank you for doing the same.
We’ve had a difficult talk with a neo-natalogist today. Our desire is to be fully yielded to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ. What that will entail we don’t know. Susannah has been given to the Lord. We’ve asked Him to use her as He sees fit. We thought we knew what that looked like. Now we’ve had placed directly before us the fact that our little one may never have fully been with us after birth. We believe life begins at conception and ends when the spirit leaves the body. Susannahâ€™s spirit may have already left.
In total honesty, there is no measurable evidence of brain activity. At first this wasn’t a big deal but each hour that goes by increases the likelihood that it won’t start. I’ve asked the Dr what would cause him to reverse his diagnose and he said she would need to wake up and be able to follow movement with her eyes. Frankly this is about like asking her to climb out of her isolette.
We are praying for Gods direction. We are asking Him to take this difficult decision from us and if He chooses not to give us the grace to do what we need to.
We love you all and thank you for your prayers and support. I read a bunch of blog comments to Susannah last night. She’s even keeping up with what you are saying.
Thank you’all for your faithful fervent prayers. I’ve been able to read all the blog comments as I can see them on my phone.
Being able to write another update is a privelege. It means we’ve had another part of a day with Susannah. Melanie and I cherish each moment we get with her. She is so precious. She hasn’t even smiled and our hearts are totally smitten.
Her blood pressure did better today. This is a huge answer to prayer. Since it would rise and fall it was hard to get excited about how it was doing. But I think there was some improvement. The drs felt like they were able to get her ivs stabilized so they weren’t having to constantly adjust what was being given and how much.
She is still totally listless and lacks even basic reflexes. Melanie and I would be so happy just to see a finger move or an eyelid flutter.
The hospital staff has been great. Melanie got to hold Susannah today. This NICU team is committed to babies being held. This is one reason we selected this hospital.Â Took three nurses to get her out of the incubator and over to her mother. There have been a lot of tears shed of late and there were quite a few more shed when that precious little girl was set on Melanie.
We have fully given little Susannah to our Lord and are looking to Him for our strength and courage.
Susannah Joy made it past the twenty four hour mark. She is still in very critical condition and unresponsive. She needs for her blood pressure to stabilize. There are other concerns the doctors have, but if the blood pressure isnâ€™t where it needs to be, the other issues donâ€™t matter. We are grateful for all the prayer support and encouragement. We serve a God Who works miracles for those who trust Him. We are seeking to fully trust and look to Him.