Answers to Questions

The question has been posed to me after Jesse’s house purchase: “Sarah, may I ask why you don’t own your own home? What if the Lord has a life plan for you that doesn’t include a husband, why can’t you live on your own and still serve our Lord? I truly am interested in your reasons.”

Plain and simple: the Lord has not led me to, and I don’t desire to own a house. Why would I want to take on the expenses of a home, and live by myself (hey! I honestly love being around my family!)–for what purpose?

It’s also been suggested that I should buy a house and rent it out. That holds no appeal to me. Remodeling projects are not my favorite (I’d rather write!).

Of course, I’m very capable of living on my own. The very word “can’t” implies something stronger. I can, but I choose not to.

Those are my simple answers. I love my life, and I’m so grateful to the Lord Jesus for what He’s given me to do. At the moment, my time is jam-packed between working on my newest book (just finished the first draft last week!), my normal Titus2 work plus part-time bookkeeping for three companies, and preparing talks to go on a ministry trip myself in less than two weeks.

Please note: this is only meant to respond to the questions, and I won’t approve comments that are negative or debating why I’ve made this choice! 🙂 

Love,
Sarah

“And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto
men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the
inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.”
Colossians 3:23-24

90 thoughts on “Answers to Questions”

  1. Bravo. May you (and we!) always and only do as the Lord commands you, not what you want, or what you think “makes sense”. 1Sa 15:22 – And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.

  2. Dear Sarah,

    Excellently put! I myself get asked those very same questions a lot (I am only 1 year younger than you are).
    I feel that, these days, people are deeply underestimating the value of having a close-knit family. Sometimes it seems that living at home or spending time with family, and actually LOVING it, is something that’s gone out of fashion. And that makes me very sad.

    Many blessings,

    Alice

  3. Good for you! It is always interesting to hear other’s experiences, but it is sad that so many feel a need to criticise =(
    I didn’t leave my dad’s home until I was 30 (my mother died when I was 28), and I didn’t really see a need to. My sister still lives at home with my dad – and she is almost 39.
    The Lord puts us in families for good reason, and till He leads otherwise it is good to be content and flourish! =)

  4. That’s a wonderful answer Sarah.
    I bumped into a previous home-school mother recently. She told me how she and her husband were about to become empty-nesters (do you use that term in the US?) Their 3 are all still single and the eldest is 21. I replied that our 5 are still home, eldest 32. She responded saying they taught theirs to be independent. We so enjoy living together like your family.

    1. Laura,

      Wow! Your comment really struck me. The independence versus loving to be together as a family. So much joy is lost when young people become independent just to become independent!

  5. Wow Sarah, this is one of my favourite posts so far. You are wise!!! May your joy abound even more and more in this faithfulness… and may you be increasingly fruitful…

    Breath of very fresh air…

    There is nothing wiser than to fear the Lord and delight in His commandments. If I had had such sense in my younger years I would be a much more mature and useful Christian than I am. But God can even work with this life too, and He graciously is. 🙂

    Love and appreciation
    Sarah and family

  6. You are a Very sensible young woman and a great witness to the faith you profess. To have such a good relationship with your parents and family is not very usual in these dark days. To live by yourself and ‘have your own space’ just for the sake of it is pointless. Looking to the Lord for guidance and direction in your life is the very best way of living. Every blessing Clara

  7. Each one of us is let on a different path by the Lord. You are wise to follow His leading.
    I usually never respond to articles but this one prompted a response from this middle aged lady, blessings to you and I like what you said to not allow the negative to take hold in your heart!

  8. Hi Sarah,

    I just want to say thanks for what you wrote. I also live at home (and write.) It’s a true blessing, and thank you for speaking out about it!

  9. Sarah, you are a very special young woman and a role model for my girls.
    Keep us posted about your life, it helps to take a different way, against the mainstream, with our kids.

    Blessings,
    Susi

  10. Good for you, Sarah, for giving an explanation to the nay sayers. While I do not necessarily believe that single women should always live at home, ( I didn’t, but I also didn’t live in a loving family like yours) I applaud you for standing up for your convictions and being willing to be transparent and honest.

  11. Sarah, I have read y’alls blog for some time. I love your reason! I am the same way. Thank you for encouraging single young ladies!

  12. Sarah,
    I feel like some of the same women who emphasize the importance of choice for women when it comes to liberal issues, often turn around and ridicule the conservative choices of other women. Choices such as living at home, having many children, being a homemaker. I do not think that is right.

    Good for you for standing up for your choices, Sarah.

  13. I think it’s wonderful what you are doing, Sarah! You radiate such a peace and joyful presence in your family, I’m sure they would not want you to move either. 🙂 You are a blessing to so many, and may you continue to shine where the Lord has placed and blessed you!

  14. Great response Sarah! We are to please the Lord and not man. Every person and family is different. I have four teens – and out of the four – one daughter. And this conversation has come up before now that she has just graduated and unsure her next steps. So I forwarded your comments for her to read and think on as I want her to be confident in the Lords leading her and not easily persuaded with others thoughts/opinions. I don’t know of course what the Lord has in mind for our children but I love to watch the Lord work and His Sovereign plan unfold. 🙂 thank you for sharing.

  15. Sarah,

    Good for you! We all have a choice and you selected the one that works best for your life. Families are a great support system and I have learned through your blog just how great of a relationship you have at home and your extended family who live close by. 🙂

  16. God bless you, Sarah! Why leave the protection of family that God has given you just because you can? You are doing the right thing! It also keeps things above reproach!

  17. Well-said, dear Sarah. Thank you for sharing your heart. Your life is a true testimony to serving our Lord and following His leading, and I’m sure you are an inspiration to many other young ladies.
    I felt tired after reading what all you’re busy doing right now—Wow! 🙂 Thank you again for sharing.
    I also wanted to say Colossians 3:23 is one of my *very* favorite verses, and I often add that after my signature in notes. 🙂
    Love, Mrs. Patti

    1. Thank you so much! 🙂 Well, and the end of June, I did a project Anna normally does since she was gone, which took time! 🙂 I know my times are in HIS hands. God has so bountifully filled my plate, and I love serving Him!!!

      That’s neat about the verse being your tagline! 🙂

  18. Wonderful job on this post, sis! I love your heart for productivity + pursuing YOUR passions + loves! Life is too short to do anything less! Keep it up. =)

  19. I love that you stay home with your family… I love even more that your family WANTS you home! I did not grow up in a Christian home. From the time I was a young girl, I was told I had to go to college and be independent and on my own… It is such a blessing that you are there serving your family so graciously! It is such a precious example to our family!
    Thank you!! love your picture with your sweet Ellie!

    1. Leanne,

      Thank you! Yes, my family loves me a lot and loves me being here! I know not everyone has that blessing, though. Thanks for your sweet comment. Yep, Ellie sticks pretty close! 🙂

  20. I was blessed by your answer. As I grow older, I can finally see that God calls us all to a different path. Once we know our path, we can walk in it. I pray God’s will for your life Sarah. You are a sweet lady and I truly enjoy your posts. I am also praying that a nice young man (of course Christian) may come along if it is in God’s plan:) I pray the same prayer for all my children!

  21. You are precious!!!!! I think you are amazing for being sensitive to the will that God has for you!!!! Your parents have done an amazing job of raising all eight Maxwell children! To God be the glory!

  22. AMEN! I think it is wonderful that you and all of your other siblings have chosen to live at home until marriage…very wise for a number of reasons. You are so blessed!

  23. Love this!!! You are such an encouragement to so many! Thank you for sharing what the Lord has laid on your heart. It truly blessed me to read it!!

  24. It is amazing to me how some folks are so outspoken when it comes to voicing their opinion against a productful person’s life. If its not broken- why “fix” it. 9Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. 11Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? 12And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
    Why tempt a sister to sin against our Lord and Savior?

  25. I admire way you stay with lords following , and your blessed with loving family . Your post always encouge me

  26. Sarah,
    Thank you for being an inspiration and example to others who are also living in a similar situation according to the call the Lord has placed on their lives. Your commitment to your mission and your family is refreshing, and I appreciate your sharing this post. Your response was gentle and gracious.

  27. This is what happens when you share parts of your life on the internet. People jump on the snippets you give them, build a puzzle in their head and seem to think they know you and your life better than yourself, moreover, they feel qualified to give advice to you on how to live your life .
    It is important to stay true to yourself and not be pulled into all different directions.
    Our heavenly father gave us the one true direction to follow, the guidance we can always rely on, no matter where others try to lead us!
    Dear Sarah, I wish you all the happiness in the world, wherever He may lead you!

  28. Sarah,
    I moved out on my own when I graduated from college. I had no desire to stay at home and live with my parents, because we simply did not have a really close relationship. Although they were Christians (and are now both with Jesus), they were not communicative, and we just never really talked.

    I got a good job and rented an apartment, and all too quickly began to live a very secular lifestyle. Here are the reasons why:

    1) I worked in a secular environment. I spent 40+ hours a week with non-Christians.
    2) I did not have good spiritual habits (or any spiritual habits really). My parents did not actively train and mentor through the process of developing habits of daily Bible reading and prayer. (I wrote your mom a long email about my thoughts on this, after reading Sweet Journey. Thank you, Teri, for Sweet Journey!) Because I was not reading the Bible, I was not guided by it!
    3) I had no Christian support system at home, since I was living alone.
    4) I had no accountability.

    I was a Christian, but a disobedient one. God graciously preserved my health and safety while I made unwise decisions and took foolish risks. I am in my 50’s but am still haunted at times by regrets of the things I did in my 20’s. I daily claim God’s promises of forgiveness, and have learned not to rely on my own feelings but on his Word – I know I am “whiter than snow” even though I may not feel forgiven.

    Praise God that you have such positive relationships with your parents, and that you can maintain these relationships as adults living together. You live in a Christian home, with support and accountability. You seem to be living a happy, fulfilling, and purposeful life. And this provides such an encouraging example to so many Christian young women, probably more than you even realize! And good for you for not listening to your critics, but following the guidance of the Holy Spirit instead. I so appreciate this blog, and the light that your family shines in a dark world.

    1. Mrs. S,

      Thank you so much for sharing your testimony! Wow, the Lord has done an amazing work in you. Praise HIM for His faithfulness! Thank you for sharing and for your encouragement!

  29. Hi Sarah,

    I enjoy your blog posts and photography (especially the random life posts).

    If you are happy where you are, and a blessing to your family, that’s all people need to know. I thought you answered these questions very well. I also think these answers are a great encouragement to other young adults living at home.

    Much blessings to you and your family!

    Lisa T.

  30. I lived at home until I married at age 32. It was wonderful. Walking an unfamiliar way should be comfortable to Christ followers. So much of how we live does not pattern the norm anyway. Thank you for sharing such a personal choice with us. May God bless you as you follow His way.

  31. I appreciate this post right now as my 18yo daughter is being asked to step outside her family’s protection. I’ve seen real grief come to families who encourage independence in their daughters.

  32. Sarah, I deeply appreciate your frankness regarding this subject. There is a great deal of talk these days about not telling others how to live, but that conversation comes to a screeching halt when Christians are seen living out our convictions. It stops being a matter of live-and-let-live, and instead becomes a matter of atrocious oppression. Too often, Christians tip-toe around these accusations, hoping to please their critics. I would love to see more young people take the stand you’ve taken in this post.

    May God continue to bless you and your parents for your willingness to endure criticism and even answer it.

  33. Lovely lot of comments, we agree with all of them!
    Keep serving the Lord and praise him for his goodness.
    Thank you for sharing.
    Love to all
    Xxxxxxxxxx

  34. Sarah,
    I think that they way that you choose to live is very sweet! I think it is very interesting the reason you choose to stay at home versus many of the younger generation who dont move out just because it is easier to stay at home and “live off” of their parents. Many of who I am talking about do not have jobs and spend many hours a day on social media or playing video games.

    I honestly do not see the point in moving out if you are being a productive person who is contributing to society and helping others. If it works out for you and your family more power to you!

    Your family is a wonderful example of how being close is such a blessing!

    Have a wonderful and blessed day!

  35. Once again, I am struck by how something the world tells you is “good” (living independently, etc.) may actually be turned 180 degree to discover the truth. I believe if one made a list of the pros and cons to living at home, the pros would FAR exceed any cons. And if it was looked upon not as something that was good not only for “me”, it could also be seen as good for your family and an opportunity to serve and bless your family.

  36. The notion of everybody in a family having their own house and independent lifestyle is very much a white American concept. In many Mexican-American families, multiple generations live under the same roof. Oftentimes, those who do have their own homes live in the same neighborhood– very much like the Maxwell family! 🙂 I’ve also known many African-Americans who live in multigenerational households, including one where the adult daughter worked as a nurse (and could have easily afforded to buy her own place) but she chose to stay with her parents.

    My point is, what some people perceive as “normal” or “the way everybody does it” is really just the way it is done in one culture, or among one group of people.

  37. Sarah, it is clear that you are obediently living the Lord’s plan for your life. You and your dear family are an inspiration to those of us who are trying to do,the same. X

  38. Thank you for this post, we have 2 young daughters and it is our desire for them to stay home until they are married, it is quite unpopular to do so in this day and age and I’m not sure why! I am thankful for the encouragement I find in this blog!

  39. Sarah, as you know, I am much older than you. I was raised in a home where I did not even feel welcome to stay long enough to finish high school. I was an obedient teen but raised by grandparents. Grandmother was my life, but she was very much controlled by a very ungodly man who didn’t want me there, so to make her life easier as well as mine I left at 17. Sometimes I wonder how my life would have turned out if I could have found the strength to have stayed and withstood the aweful treatment. I promised myself I would never cause my children to feel unwanted and unsafe in their own home. And I didn’t. My oldest daughter stayed until 23 and got married. My son left shortly after graduation to manage a farm/ranch but lived with the owners until he was 25. Now I have my baby left. I pray that she will never feel the need to leave until and if the Lord brings the right gentleman for her to start her own home with.
    I don’t think that some folks can understand that even though adult children live at home, they are still adults. And can be adults. So many believe that you still have to get permission from your parent to go to the store and that’s just not how it is. You and your siblings are incredibly blessed to have parents who love you the way they do.

    Blessings

  40. I lived at home until I got married except for a small window of time when I lived on campus where I was going to college. I was definitely perceived as odd because I had no desire to leave my parents home. For me it was a huge blessing and I cherish the time I was there as an adult.

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