I hope you’ve had a blessed week! Recently, our friends, Dave and Liz, came to visit. But, this time, it wasn’t just Dave and Liz. We were delighted to meet Anna, their new little girl, for whom we’ve prayed. Liz’s testimony is one of God’s faithfulness, mercy, and overwhelming goodness. Read below. — Sarah
My husband and I were married in 2000 at the age of twenty-two and twenty-three. We loved the Lord, and we were excited to begin the journey of our lives together with Him.
I’m not sure how it happened, but one year turned to three, three years turned to five, and before long I really believed that I didn’t want to have children. One day I actually said out loud to the Lord, “Lord, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I want to have children.”
It’s heartbreaking to think that those words came from my lips and that I could be so selfish, all the while thinking we were doing so much good for God. My heart was in bondage to fear and distrust, and I didn’t even realize it!
Then, one morning in 2007, we were praying with a group of friends. We were asking God to bring back the value of life in our nation and praying for the ending of abortion. Suddenly, I felt the strong, yet kind, conviction of the Lord on my heart. How could I pray this prayer and yet keep my heart closed to the Lord about having our own family? Once again I spoke out loud. “Lord, I’m so sorry for saying that I didn’t want to have children. Please forgive me!”
Now, although I fully believed that God forgave me, I didn’t feel any different. I mean, I didn’t all of the sudden have strong feelings when I was around babies or get emotional when I thought about being pregnant. It was more dry road obedience. If God wanted me to have children, I’d do it out of obedience, but I didn’t feel excited about it.
Then, in 2009, I was introduced to the Duggar family who have a large number of children. It was the joy of the Lord that I saw in their family that drew me in. There was so much love and joy! Then, like an arrow of truth to my heart, I got it. Children are a BLESSING from God. A BLESSING! A GIFT! A JOY!
It was like in one moment, clarity came. All those years, I had not believed the truth of God’s Word that children are a blessing. I believed that children were hard work, a testing and trying part of life. I believed that God gave children to teach parents about sacrifice and self-denial. There may be some truth in those thoughts, but God is a good God, and He gives good gifts. Children are good gifts from God! It’s a way that He desires to bless us, and there I was saying, “No, thanks God, I don’t want your blessings.” Oh how thankful I am for forgiveness and restoration!
In 2011 we found out we were expecting our first baby! However, our excitement turned to sorrow only seven weeks later as we lost the baby in a miscarriage. I really didn’t know if that would be the end of the story. I didn’t know if God would give us that blessing that I had held at arm’s length for so long. Thankfully, He did.
On October 29, 2013 we welcomed our sweet Anna Victoria into the world, and every time I look at her, I’m thankful that God changed my heart and gave me this precious gift! May the Lord’s name be praised, and may He continue to turn the hearts of the fathers and mothers back to the children.
“But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”