We receive comments on occasion with questions that appear not to be sincere or that might have an agenda. That’s okay. However, we know that you may encounter similar questions from others with a different “world view.” We thought that perhaps if we responded to some of our “naysayer” questions here, it might be a help to you.
Below is a recent blog comment followed by Joseph’s response.
“Since Joseph owns his own home, why can’t he live in it? He doesn’t have a wife and kids to support, so his expenses would be low.”
I (Joseph) always enjoy a small chuckle with myself whenever my dad shares comments like this with our family. The reason is the use of the word “can’t.” “Can’t” indicates that the writer thinks this decision has been made by someone other than me. It hasn’t. Dad and Mom provided solid, Biblical guidance for my life when I was younger, and as I have grown up, they have taught us to think critically with the Bible as our foundation.
There are three main reasons why I chose to continue living at our home after I purchased my own house: financial, accountability, and family. Let me explain.
While, yes, it is true that living by myself in my house before I am married would be less expensive than it will be when I have my own family, there still would be significant additional expense, such as food and utilities, that I don’t incur while living at home with my parents. It takes little to realize that living with my family is even less expensive than living alone—almost zero. As a result, I can place what I save toward long-term goals, immediate improvements to my house, and giving. I am very grateful for Dad and Mom’s willing and accommodating spirits to let us live in their home without charge as income-earning young adults.
When the Lord brings me to begin talking with a young lady’s father about courting his daughter, I will approach that father in total honesty. If I was living by myself, I would have no one to back up my word. In my opinion, if I was living alone and said, “You’ll just have to trust me,” that would lend less credibility than the accountability I have welcomed in our family. Living with my family, and having my parents as my accountability partners, I am very grateful for the ability that I have to provide references to my integrity throughout discussions with a father. I believe Jesus gave a precedent for this when He sent the disciples out two-by-two.
Accountability segues into this one very nicely. I love my family. I love spending time with them. We have a great time together! My family members are my best friends, and life would be rather boring without my best friends around me. If/when the Lord brings along the young lady for me, my family’s “best friend” status will transfer to her and my children. Sadly, many in the world cannot comprehend a family model like this.
For a Scriptural basis for this thinking, I look no further than the first family that God created—Adam, Eve, and eventually their children. Genesis 2:18 says, “And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” A very practical secondary application in this verse is that it is not good for me to live alone.
My desire is to live a life pleasing to Jesus and a life that is in obedience to His Holy Bible. I hope this makes it understandable and clear as to why I am choosing to live with my family until I am married.
“But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always
to give an answer to every man that asketh you a
reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear.”
1 Peter 3:15