A Heartbreak

It’s always a delight to me when young ladies want to talk after the girls’ session at conferences. It seems the majority of the time it’s older girls in their teens sharing with me, but at one city, there were several little girls, maybe ages 8 or 9. Instead of what you might expect “thanks so much: I really enjoyed it!” I was surprised: they had solid questions. My heart broke over one such girl.

I share many things through Womanhood, but one aspect is having a good relationship with your parents and being open and honest with them. I also encourage that you should be able to tell your parents anything and to not hide things. This girl asked me how she could be open and talk when her mom won’t listen. When I asked how her mom wouldn’t listen, she said her mom will tell her just “to get over it.” This little girl’s eyes brimmed with tears as she talked. Oh, how my heart hurt! If only this mom knew what her words were doing to her daughter. I encouraged her to find a time when her younger brothers and sisters were in bed for the night and work at sharing her heart with her mom again. Please, dear moms, listen to your girls, don’t think anything is too silly, and work on that precious relationship. It’s so important!

My own mom is wonderful in listening to me: and she knows how I like to talk :-). She’s made it a priority to nurture that relationship and develop it.


“Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile” (Psalms 34:11-13).

12 thoughts on “A Heartbreak”

  1. Oh my goodness, Sarah! Thank you for the reminder! I do have a wonderful relationship with my girls but we could all stand to be more attentive to our children’s hearts! Those little hearts are precious delicate treasures!

  2. Sarah-My daughter, who is 16, says that none of her other friends at school confide in their moms or even like their moms on that level of relationship. On the other hand I talk to moms where they basically just go to their daughter’s events (sports) and support them that way and that is it. Other than that they are not at all connected. They consider that the norm.

    I have a great relationship with my daughter but it has definitely been intentional and something I work at. With her in school, it has to be my priiority to mentor her and help her keep her thinking sharp as to what holiness and purity looks like. I am glad that you, as young woman, cherish your parents and more imporantly your parents STILL invest in you.

    Your blog always inspires me and yes if I were to do it over, I would probally home school all the way through. Take care.

  3. Sarah, you post is so timely. I actually have a son who is 7 and who is very sensitive by nature. He has come to me many times feeling slighted emotionally or just needing to share and talk openly about some topic or another. Tonight he got angry at his brother for something relatively benign (he was tired and especially edgy), and when I went to talk to him, he spoke to me nicely and with a balanced voice and then a tear ran down his cheek (he was so sad, but didn’t want to cry, but then couldn’t control the wayward tears). Oh, how my heart broke for him!

    Long story short, he was tucked in to bed 2 hours ago with a content spirit, but those tears escaping his eyes with no other signs of crying just broke me down. We owe our children our ears when they need them, not when it’s convenient for us. I obviously missed a cue in my busy day and it came out tonight through behavior and tears. Sigh. Parenting is a continuous work in progress.

    Thanks for your encouragement, Sarah and all Maxwells!

    Karen W.

  4. Thank you, Sarah, for these wonderful words. I focus on strengthening my listening skills often, asking the Lord during my prayer time to help me. It is my goal to look in each of my childrens’ eyes everyday, many times a day – which takes effort when life at home is so busy! From our oldest daughter telling of her plans for our garden (will the snow melt soon??), down to our youngest telling me a story that I can only understand a few words :0) – it is all so important to hear. You are so sweet to encourage us in this way! God Bless You!

  5. I have the most wonderful Mom in the whole world. She’s made it a priority to spend time with me. One thing about Mother’s 🙂 they always understand.

    Thank-you so much for the post.


  6. Thank you Sarah for sharing this. I’d like to think that I do a good job of listening to our girls, but it never hurts to be reminded of the importance of genuine attention and care when dealing with little hearts.

  7. You are truly blessed to have a mother that cares. My own has disowned me and I often find myself frustrated when I have questions filling my mind that only a mother can help to answer. Being able to go to one’s mother isn’t only for children. Adults need their moms too. I just wish more moms realized that.

    Your words touch my heart. Many times I find myself not responding the way I would like to my children. Though I try to change this I am finding it most difficult. It is important for children to be able to go openly to their parents. Children need to know they will be heard and that their feelings are important. I know this. But knowing and doing are two different things.

    Thank you for the reminder. May God continue to bless and keep you and your family.

  8. Sadly that’s more common than not. My parents were the same way and still are.
    Thank you for the reminder.

  9. Thanks, Sarah, for that sweet reminder. What a privilege to have a daughter who wants to talk.

  10. After attending your Womanhood session, my daughter has had a much better spirit and attitude when talking with her mom (me) and dad, and she is becoming more gentle in dealing with and talking to her siblings.

    Thank you for your faithfulness in encouraging young hearts toward God and family! I feel like I have been entrusted with a treasure in this precious young lady – – – and I plan to be more mindful in sharing heart to heart time with her.

    God bless!
    Praise the Lord, and thank you for sharing the encouragement. Sarah

  11. Very true words. I have a 10 yr old daughter who skipped a year in school and is with older children in middle school. She is a highly intelligent and observant child and often comes home to tell me of tales of how some (not all, mind you) girls dress and speak and talk about their parents. In our own home we are loving and caring and you just sort of expect other people and other children to act the same. Sadly, this isn’t always the case. I am glad I raised my children to clearly recognize that they needn’t be like other children, and to know that they having loving parents to come to when they need them.

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