Difficult news

We’ve had a difficult talk with a neo-natalogist today. Our desire is to be fully yielded to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ. What that will entail we don’t know. Susannah has been given to the Lord. We’ve asked Him to use her as He sees fit. We thought we knew what that looked like. Now we’ve had placed directly before us the fact that our little one may never have fully been with us after birth. We believe life begins at conception and ends when the spirit leaves the body. Susannah’s spirit may have already left.

In total honesty, there is no measurable evidence of brain activity. At first this wasn’t a big deal but each hour that goes by increases the likelihood that it won’t start. I’ve asked the Dr what would cause him to reverse his diagnose and he said she would need to wake up and be able to follow movement with her eyes. Frankly this is about like asking her to climb out of her isolette.

We are praying for Gods direction. We are asking Him to take this difficult decision from us and if He chooses not to give us the grace to do what we need to.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers and support. I read a bunch of blog comments to Susannah last night. She’s even keeping up with what you are saying.


142 thoughts on “Difficult news”

  1. My heart just aches for you. I cry when I read your updates and look at the precious pictures. Please know we are keeping Susannah Joy, you and Melanie in our prayers constantly. The Lord has His plan, and even though we may not know what it is and may think it is so very hard, we need to trust in Him. I can see you and Melanie’s faith in following His Will, and it is so amazing.

  2. Dear Nathan, Melanie, and Baby Susannah,
    My own heart aches. Iknow your own heart must ache a great deal more. To share this heartache with so many you don’t know is a humbling experience for me. We will continue our prayers for you all. God keep you in His tender care. I know your baby is cradled in His tender, gentle hands.
    God Bless,
    Kara and family

  3. Praying for wisdom, strength and peace as you continue on during this difficult time.

  4. Your family has been on my heart so much these last few days! We prayed for you this evening and will continue to pray. I know the Lord will be glorified through this trial…I pray He lavishes His grace upon you and sustains you through every step.

  5. Our family will continue to remember you in our prayers. We thinking of you all and what a testimony your family is.

  6. Dear Nathan and Melanie,

    I am praying for you and Susannah Joy, and for God’s direction for you right now. I, too, pray that the Lord will make this decision for you. My brother and sister-in-law delivered premature boys twice, and they were faced with a similarly heartbreaking situation. I know that this is not at all easy for you. I also, know, Nathan, that this is not what you probably ever imagined your first moments of fatherhood to be like. Nathan, you are blessed with a godly father, and the most wonderful Father of all to advise you and Melanie. I pray for your comfort and peace right now- overwhelming peace.

    Thank you for sharing so much on the blog- pictures and requests. Your blog is definietly serving it’s stated purpose of challenging and encouraging believers (and I believe any non-believers reading this are challenged as well). I pray that all in this country would rise up, as you have, and so fearlessly proclaim that life begins at conception.

    You and Melanie have been a dear mother and father to Susannah Joy for many, many months. I praise God that you have had this time with her, and that no matter how long the Lord has for her on this earth, you will be with her in eternity, for she is His.

    May Christ’s peace and strength surround you,

    Sarah, for all in our family
    Jer 29:11

  7. Isaiah 40:11
    He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.

  8. Nathan, Melanie, our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time . What a beautiful little treasure God has placed within your arms to love. We are lifting your family and Little Susannah up in prayer, and we pray that Our Heavenly Father will wrap you tightly in His arms and surround you with His peace.
    Aaron & Glenda

  9. We want you to know that you are on our hearts and being prayed for much. Susannah Joy is a beautiful baby girl. We love you.

  10. May His love and peace overwhelm you, may His presence be known and may your hearts know God will carry you through. When you can’t breath through the tears, may He fill your souls.

    We’re praying for you and your family continously. May God’s mercy shine on you.

    In the name by which we’re saved,
    Keri, Jim

  11. We continue to pray for you and your family, and of course, baby Susannah. You must be exhausted by the events of the past 2 days, especially Melanie trying to also recover physically.

    Susannah is a precious gift. It is hard to understand God’s message now, but be comforted that you will one day understand His purpose through her.

    Bless you, mama Melanie and daddy Nathan. You have so many people praying for you! And most of all, bless you baby Susannah Joy. You may not be able to smile and wink, but I am confident you can feel love.

  12. Praying for you all!!!! May God give you peace and wisdom during this difficult time.

  13. Continuing to keep your family in prayer, knowing that you are in the hollow of God’s hand. Grace and peace to you.

  14. Nathan and Melanie,
    Our hearts ache for you and we have been praying fervently for all of you. Susannah Joy is beautiful. We are praying for you as you make such a difficult decision and praying that you do not have to. We love you. Chuck and Deb and family

  15. Nathan and Melanie,
    I am continuing to pray for you both and for your little baby girl. Thank you for sharing with us your precious pictures, thoughts and feelings. Your transparency has blessed me. And being able to lift you all up in prayer has been a blessing as well. I am praying that God will uplift you with his grace and give you very clear wisdom, peace, and strength in the days to come. And I will continue to pray for a miracle in your little girl’s life.


  16. Prayers for mercy, peace and wisdom from the Lord to be with you during this difficult time.

    “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever: for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength: ”
    Isaiah 26:3-4

  17. We are uplifting you all in our prayers. May our Lord give you strength and comfort during this difficult hour! Our hearts ache with you but we trust that little Susannah is in the Lord’s hands!

  18. Melanie,
    I don’t even know you “in the flesh”, but I’m praying for my dear sister in Christ as though you were my own flesh-and-blood sister. I’ve followed your journey for so long, now, and am heartbroken, and can’t imagine what you’re feeling right now. I don’t even feel worthy to give you words of wisdom, or advice of any sort, only to let you know that I’ve cried for you, prayed for you, and will continue to pray for you, from one mother’s heart to another. My youngest is only 7 weeks old, and I just can’t imagine what on earth to pray, only to keep on praying.

    Love in Christ,

  19. Nothing is too big for our God, Lord touch Suzannah and give her the gift of life Jesus… amen

  20. Nathan and Melanie, my Spirit groans for baby Susannah and for the two of you. You both are showing your light to world in how you are walking through this difficulty. This too glorifies God and He brought baby Susannah into this world to bring Glory to His name. Who is to know His ways, but your trust in Him will carry you both through this.

  21. We have been praying fervently for all of you and will continue to do so. You are well grounded in the Word and we know that your faith will remain strong. Lean on Him and know that many, many brothers and sisters in Christ are lifting you up.
    Susannah is a miracle and that won’t ever change.

  22. I am praying for your family that in whatever circumstance He will reveal to you His will in these difficult times. It is encouraging see God’s people drawing together, not with trite phrases or judgement, but with love and compassion. Thank you for being willing to share your life with us and know that you are loved and lifted up in prayer.

  23. I am so sorry to read of little Susannah’s struggles. I know that this must be so hard for you, but am impressed by just how strong your faith is. Our family will continue to pray for you and your family.


  24. You’re a beautiful family!
    We know how long you’ve hoped for your daughter Susannah, your little “lily” flower, born on the first day of Spring. And how confusing this all is now. It’s the “whys” of life we don’t understand. Just keep trusting God. Over and over tell yourself…”TRUST GOD IN ALL THINGS.” He will guide your path.
    We pray that God will encircle you all with his loving arms and give you strength. We pray that Susannah will open her eyes. We pray that you feel God’s peace during this difficult time.

    “Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

  25. Susannah is so beautiful! We will be praying for you, and your little one. May you have wisdom and peace that only He can provide.

  26. Continue to keep your family and little Susannah in prayer. God is in control and I pray that you find strength and comfort in Him.

  27. Dear Nathan, Melanie and extended family,
    My heart hurts and tears flow for you all, yet I am so encouraged by your steadfast faith and humble submission. The Lord is surely being glorified by your living testimony.I sincerely pray that He will give you wisdom, strength, and comfort in the hours and days ahead. What a precious gift Susannah is to all who know her story! She is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made! Much love and prayers, Linda K.

  28. my heart is so full for your sweet family………..

    God is sovereign, He is on His throne, and He is good……..

  29. Words don’t seem enough at such a time as this. Praying for you and may you feel the presence of the Lord very near to you. Nathan, Melanie and Baby Susannah, you all have been on my heart all week.

  30. Our hearts and prayers are with you all. May God grant you the peace that surpasses all understanding as you love and care for little Susannah Joy.

  31. We spent 81 days in the NICU five years ago with our first son. He is known as Miracle Miles. How blessed that we all serve the God of miracles. We will be praying for you. We understand the bittersweet of being in such a hard situation and yet being so close to the arms of the Father. Our hearts go out to you.

  32. We have been reading together as a family in Luke lately. It has been fascinating to again, trace the life of Christ through Scripture, reminding ourselves of those things that God thought important enough to commit to paper.

    Perhaps the most amazing theme throughout His life, death, and resurrection is God’s intent to glorify Himself even in the most difficult and tragic of situations. The God who walked upon the earth and gave Himself for us all is the same God who holds Susannah in His hands right now… no better place to be.

    We will continue to pray, to lift her up, to lift you up, and to glorify God through it all. Miracles do happen and we are praying for one!

    May God bless you with His joy, His peace, His love.

    Leland, Jennifer, and Molly

  33. Crying tears with you. I feel so ashamed that I let the “problems” in my life get to me, when what I am going through is nothing compared to what you are going through. Your family’s ministry has been such a blessing to me, and I feel as if I know you all personally after reading your books and your blog. I do not know what to say. I realize that nothing I can say can be of any true comfort, except that I am praying for you.

  34. I could not comment earlier because of the tears and ache I feel for you. I cannot imagine your pain and the added pain of such a decision. Thank you for opening up your lives and allowing us to go before the throne of our Sovereign Lord on your behalf. Please know that we are praying for you all. Only our Lord can meet your needs and He will. In times like these, we can do nothing but hold onto the promises we hold dear in our hearts. I pray that God will make His will clear and will, by His grace, make the decision for you. Remember, He is the lover of little Susannah’s soul. Blessings…

  35. “I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”
    I am praying. May Jesus be your all in all!

  36. We are praying for you and little Suzannah, and the difficult decisions that may lie ahead. So thankful for the opportunity for you to hold your precious little one – that means so much!

    Rachel and family

  37. Bailey just said her bedtime prayers and asked, “Jesus hold her and make her feel better”. My heart breaks for you both. This is a pain I wish you never knew. You’re on our minds all the time…

    Love and prayers,
    Keri and Jim

  38. I have been praying for you both and your sweet little girl. I pray the God of all comfort will make Himself known in new ways as you walk through this difficult time. I pray that His arms of love will be felt encompassing your hearts and souls, giving you strength, comfort, and wisdom. I pray for dear little Suzannah that she will know the love her Heavenly Father has for her, even now.

  39. We don’t know your family, but our family is thinking of you and praying for you and tonight our 11 year old daughter spontaneously prayed for little Susannah at the dinner table. We want you to know that your beautiful little girl has touched the heart of this family, as has your faith in the Lord. We know Susannah is safe in the Father’s loving arms and if His will is to keep her with Him, we know that she will be happy and healed beyond measure and that you will spend eternity with her. Thank you Jesus for overcoming sickness and death and suffering and sadness. Lord please comfort and strengthen these heartbroken children of yours now we pray. Thank you that you are close to the brokenhearted.

  40. May God provide comfort, strength, and peace to you all. I cannot imagine your pain. Lifting your family in prayer.


  41. I can not even imagine what you are going through. I am praying for you and your little girl right now.

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