Difficult news

We’ve had a difficult talk with a neo-natalogist today. Our desire is to be fully yielded to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ. What that will entail we don’t know. Susannah has been given to the Lord. We’ve asked Him to use her as He sees fit. We thought we knew what that looked like. Now we’ve had placed directly before us the fact that our little one may never have fully been with us after birth. We believe life begins at conception and ends when the spirit leaves the body. Susannah’s spirit may have already left.

In total honesty, there is no measurable evidence of brain activity. At first this wasn’t a big deal but each hour that goes by increases the likelihood that it won’t start. I’ve asked the Dr what would cause him to reverse his diagnose and he said she would need to wake up and be able to follow movement with her eyes. Frankly this is about like asking her to climb out of her isolette.

We are praying for Gods direction. We are asking Him to take this difficult decision from us and if He chooses not to give us the grace to do what we need to.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers and support. I read a bunch of blog comments to Susannah last night. She’s even keeping up with what you are saying.

Nathan

142 thoughts on “Difficult news”

  1. May the good Lord bless you and keep you. Your daughter is beautiful. Our prayers will continue day and night.

  2. I am crying and praying for you. For comfort, for strength for you and all that our Lord may give and have for your precious baby girl. She is beautiful and I am struck as I am sure many people are, by the strength of your faith. You and and your precious baby are a beautfiful witness of God’s love to this world.

  3. Little Susannah is beautiful. I am weeping for the decision you must make. May the Lord guide and direct you, may He give you peace in the midst of this tragic situation. Still praying…
    Christine

  4. Just wanted your family to know that our family is praying for your sweet family. Susannah is beautiful! She is blessed to have you and Melanie for parents…..your faith and trust in Lord is inspirational! We are praying for a miracle too!

  5. “Blessing, honor, and glory be unto Him.”
    Words seem small, but be encouraged and strengthened, and reminded that He is on the throne. Love and prayers to all three of you!

  6. Our hearts go out to you. We are praying for strength for you all as you minister, not only to your sweet daughter, but to all those you come in contact with, both in the hospital and through this blog. What a blessing to have the support of your family and the Lord in this time. Surely He will uphold you all in His Hands.

  7. I’ve been following the blog for months though haven’t posted before – what a loving family you are. Susannah is also the name of one of my daughters – I was very moved to see the situation of your little one. Thinking of you as you contemplate such difficult decisions ahead.

  8. Dearest Nathan and Melanie,

    We stand with you in the faith that you have in Christ Jesus… knowing that He will guide you faithfully now as He has done in the past… to know His will and walk worthy of Him according to His good pleasure. May His strength be made perfect in your weakness… and may His power support you on eagles wings… that you faint not in these weary hours. We love you dear ones and stand with you before the Throne of Grace with many others in Alaska….

    Love,

    From Alaska

    Phil 3:10 “That I may know Him”

  9. I don’t even know what to say. My heart just aches for your family. We will continue to hold you up in prayer. Thank you for sharing the pictures – Susannah Joy is beautiful.

  10. My heart aches for you all. Lord, I pray your love and mercy on the Maxwell family and on little Suzannah. Please help, strengthen and comfort them at this time. I ask this in the precious name of our Lord, Jesus.

  11. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. We found this truth to be so meaningful during our daughter’s 11 days of life and then afterwards too. It truly is a bitter sweet experience to have our Heavenly Father ask us to go through a time like this. May you find His faithfulness to be a personal and precious blessing.

  12. Still praying, and praying, and praying. We serve a mighty God. You are on my heart all the time.
    Love,
    The Ortega’s

  13. What a beautiful, beautiful baby girl. We are praying for you all, for strength and comfort and hope.

  14. Seeing 100+ comments brings a joy to my heart knowing that there are *so* many brothers and sisters in Christ praying for Susannah right now. Just as our Lord healed the biblical Susannah, I know He can heal this precious Susannah as well. We’re both praying for His will to be accomplished in this, as in all things! May you (all!) find comfort in Him during this valley and may the light of the Lord fill the path as you trod where no parent ever wants to travel. All our love and prayers…

  15. We are continuing to pray, and lift you all before our Father! He is able! He is a God of miracles! He shall bring Glory!
    Mark 9:23b… “Jesus said, All things are possible for him who believes”
    My son Reagan, age 10, is a great prayer warrior, of huge faith, and this is the verse he has prayed, and will continue to pray over Susannah.
    Draw near to Him, and He shall draw near to you.
    Sheri

  16. What an incredible gift it has been to have been invited to be a part of your lives as you anticipated and planned for the arrival of Susannah and then to be with you for her birth. Throughout these months I have witnessed the deep love you have for each other and your love for Susannah even before her birth. But more importantly, what was obvious was your love for the Lord and the knowledge that He will guide and direct you as He holds you in His loving hands. As you face these difficult decisions today and in the days ahead let Him guide your heart and mind, making decisions only when both your heart and mind feel it is the right decision to make. Be not swayed by pressures from others but only from the voice within being directed by the one who is the Alpha and Omega. My thoughts and prayers fervently continue for the three of you and for your families too.

  17. I went to bed praying for you precious daughter and woke up this morning to pray for her. I pray God will give you peace and I’m still praying for a miracle for Susannah.

    God bless you.

    Heather

  18. I can’t even begin to understand what you’re going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. A similar situation happened to a good friend of mine nearly a year ago. As humans we can’t imagine how big God’s plans are. Susannah Joy is so part of His plan. He knew her before conception. My heart goes out to you, all I can say is that I send you so much love and hugs. May the Lord Bless you!!!!!
    Love Bindyxxxxxxxx

  19. Dear Nathan and Melanie,
    I am praying that the Lord will give you his peace in your time of sorrow and grief. I am praying that you will be surrounded by His loving saints to lift you up and give you comfort. I am praying that you will be bathed in the Word of our Lord Jesus Christ. I am praying the Lord will strengthen you in His will. Your precious daughter is a heavenly gift. Lord, have mercy on Your children!
    Your sister in Christ,
    Kirsten

  20. Hello Nathan and Melanie,
    I am so glad you are in a hospital where you are able to spend time holding Susannah. May God give you grace and wisdom as you make decisions regarding her health. May His peace flow all over you and may you feel His presence in a powerful way. We are praying for you and for Susannah.
    Kathy 

  21. Dearest Nathan and Melanie,
    I am lifting you both before the Lord this morning and will continue to do so. We can take joy in the fact that God never makes a mistake. All the minutes, hours and days of your precious daughter were written before she ever came to be (Pslam 139) and knowing that you can place your trust and faith fully in the Lord Jesus as you have done and continue to do. I am praying peace, strength and widsom for you both in the name of Jesus.

    Love in Christ,
    Theresa

  22. I’ve been following your blog for the last couple days (forwarded from another website’s friend). My heart breaks for you, my little one is not quite 3 weeks old and I cannot imagine what you are going thru. Know that you are in my prayers and thoughts. God’s grace is sufficent for you. He knows what is best and His ways far surpass our knowledge and understanding. Your desire for God’s will and His glory to be evidenced is an increible witness and little Susannah will bring Him glory whether in life or in death. We lost a little one to miscarriage last year and I often think of him standing in the presence of our Lord praising Him and being safe in Jesus’ arms with so many other little ones.
    I know there are no words that can change your situation, but know you are being prayed for by many you don’t even know and we are touched by your lives.
    May God give you the grace and peace that surpasses understanding.
    Jennifer

  23. We’re all lifting you up to the Lord Jesus. May He gently lead you, just as He has promised to.

  24. Oh, dear family, I am praying for you. My heart aches for you. May God give you wisdom, grace, and mercy each day.
    Sheila

  25. Just wanted you to know….last night we had an all-night prayer ‘watch’ at our church and afterwards, I was asking our 12 yr. old son what he was praying about and just discussing with Him what the Lord was putting on His heart. He says, “Mom, I was praying for the Maxwell baby. She is what was on my heart, for her and her Mom and Dad. I just couldn’t stop thinking about them, so I was praying for them…” It was just such a precious moment to me to hear the sincerity in his voice and know that God loves you all so much that He would care enough to put His love for you into a 12 yr. old boys’ heart who has never even met you.

    I hope this will encourage your hearts that you are not alone, not just your immediate family surrounding you, but the family of Christ surrounding you all over the world. We have not been there and do not fully understand what you’re walking through, but as your brothers and sisters in Christ, our hearts have become knit with yours’ and we want you to know…you are not alone. We are extending our faith with yours’ and trusting the Lord to strengthen your hearts as you glorify His name through this difficult time.

  26. I will not pretend to imagine what you’re going through. My heart hurts for you both and your beautiful little girl. We have been through difficult situations with our child, but nothing so faith-challenging as this. Since our daughter, Nebraska Larae, was born 4 months ago, we’ve been through a NICU stay, scary diagnoses, a million doctor visits, and open-heart surgery three weeks ago. We praise God that he has been faithful and carried us through this far. We still have more to deal with, and I am inspired by your strength to hold tight to our God in this time. I will continually pray for your precious one and for your strength during this most difficult time.

  27. We are broken hearted over this latest news. Please know that we are earnestly lifting you in prayer moment by moment! May the comfort of the Lord Jesus Christ be upon you at this difficult time.

  28. Dear Nathan & Melanie,

    Your daughter, Susannah Joy, is beautiful. I can see she is a treasure to you both. It’s amazing how knit our hearts are to these little ones from conception. Every time I think of you or pray for you I think of Isaiah 40:31 and pray it for you, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” I know this is a difficult time for you as it would be for any parent. I can not fully understand all of your feelings but I want you to know that I will pray for you whenever you come to mind. May God’s loving arms surround you at this time. I too pray that He will spare you from any heart-wrenching decisions.

  29. Praying for grace, mercy and the peace that passes all understanding for you and your family. May the Lord sustain and uphold you and your precious daughter.

  30. We are praying earnestly for your sweet little Susannah–and for you. Life is so precious, and she is dear in the eyes of God. When things are humanly impossible, that is the time when we can wait to see what incredible way God will work. You never know what way He’s working even in the lives of the doctors, nurses or other patients. May the LORD give you strength every day as He carries you through this time.

  31. We too are with you in your heart-break! We are praying constantly for you. I ache with you truly – Grace and Peace to you, dear ones!

  32. Just a quick note to let you know more prayers are going up on your behalf. My own prayers will echo those of your heart as you have stated in your blog.

  33. Continuing in prayer for your family. May God grant you strength and peace in the days to come.
    Jessica

  34. My prayers are with you. I know all to well the way you feel. Not quite two years ago I had our first boy after 7 girls! We too asked for our son to be used for God’s Glory. How we didn’t realize what we were asking for! After a ruptured uterus caused extreme trauma to both of us, my son never opened his eyes. Allen was with us for 2 weeks. I know the Lord will give you strength to make the decisions you need to because he gave us that same strength. I am so sorry that you are hurting so much right now, I am holding you up to the Throne of our Lord for comfort.
    Patty

  35. Praying for your family and for the Lord’s peace and grace to be holding you up through this time. Little Susannah is beautiful, and I’m praying that if it’s God’s will He will glorify Himself with a miracle for this little one.
    I lost, through miscarriage, a baby that would have been due this week, and seeing you and reading your story brings fresh tears to my eyes. I’m praying for you, for peace that passes understanding and the Comfort of the Holy Spirit.

  36. Still praying for you all. May God bless you and show you His mercy.

    Grace and prayers,
    Keri, Jim and Bailey

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