Several times Nathan spoke those words as he looked at the flowers friends had given for Susannah Joy.  I can’t describe the emotions raised in my heart each time I heard him say that poignant phrase.

Thursday evening’s visitation was very difficult for everyone. Nathan and Melanie had gone to much effort in the attempt to introduce those coming to Susannah Joy. It was beautiful and heart-wrenching.

There were two tables set up with special things from Susannah’s crib, photos, a poem about Susannah, and Scripture. In a separate room was a projector showing many of the photos from the hospital. Nathan and Melanie were in the chapel with Susannah and spoke with people as they passed through.

For two hours there was a steady stream of friends, neighbors, and Nathan’s clients. The outpouring of love and encouragement was overwhelming. The surprise of the evening was when five residents, who are part of our Families for Jesus assembly, came to offer their love. Four were in wheel chairs and one used a walker. They had a beautiful Bible in a decorative cedar box that they gave to Nathan and Melanie. Their coming and gift, were a special treasure. We were all quite drained as we drove home.

Nathan asked that the graveside service be limited to family. Even then, there were twenty five of us. There was a small tent set up which was needed because it was cloudy with periods of rain.
 
Nathan shared a number of things from his heart when he opened and closed the burial “service.” We sang “Trust and Obey” and “Trusting Jesus” together because those songs had been sung to Susannah in the hospital and helped sustain Nathan and Melanie during those hours. Joseph, Anna, Jesse, and John sang and played a song called Susannah’s Lullaby written and composed especially for her. Nathan asked several of Melanie and his brothers to read Scripture verses that had been very meaningful to Nathan and Melanie while Susannah was in the hospital. Melanie’s father and I briefly shared some thoughts that the Lord had placed on our hearts. Grandad closed our service in prayer. It was a beautiful time in the Lord Jesus.

In the midst of our grief, we will often speak truth to each other, “God is good.” The rain that fell, at times by the bucket-full, seemed to represent our tears and the unseen mercy and grace being poured out on all of us.

Your comments and prayers have been such a blessing and encouragement to us and Nathan and Melanie. Thank you.

In Christ Jesus,

Steve

Thank you to each and every one for your love, sympathy, and compassion. Melanie and I have been blessed over and over again as we’ve read your blog comments, the Scripture you left, the poems, the hymns . . . the Lord has used each word to comfort us. Our Father has surrounded us with His care expressed by not only Himself, but others as well. We are amazed at how many people have suffered losses similar to ours. Thank you for loving Susannah.

The Lord has granted strength for each step. Things I thought would be impossible I’ve been able to do. This is not my strength or wisdom but God’s graciousness.

Tomorrow evening is the public visitation. Please pray both for this, and the family graveside service on Friday. We desire for God to be glorified in all areas. This is so out of our realm and comfort zone, yet our heart’s desire is to trust and honor Him. We want people to meet our little Susannah. We desire that God would use her life and death for His purposes in hearts.

We’re preparing a photo slide-show of our precious days with Susannah that we’ll post in the next day or so. Many of you have loved her and will hopefully be blessed by seeing some more of her. We delight in the four days we had with our SusieQ.

Job 1:20-22 has been very significant to us. My pastor shared this with us, and we have been meditating on it since. My mom memorized it while holding Susannah her last night with us, she quoted it out loud many times and thought Susannah probably learned it before she did. Job, after being told of the loss of his children and possessions, got up from where he was, tore his rob, shaved his head, fell to the ground and worshiped. David, (2 Samuel 12:20) after being told of the death of his first son by Bathsheba, arose from where he was, washed, and went into the house of the Lord where he worshiped. Melanie and I are desiring a response to Susannah’s home going that involves heart-felt worship while prostrate before our Lord.

Melanie sang the first verse and chorus of Trusting Jesus to Susannah frequently. I will close with it.

Simply trusting ev’ry day,
Trusting thro’ a stormy way;
Even when my faith is small,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.

Refrain:
Trusting as the moments fly,
Trusting as the days go by;
Trusting Him whate’er befall,
Trusting Jesus, that is all.
(Edgar Page Stites)

Nathan

It is with broken, grieving hearts that we need to let you know that our Father’s plans for Susannah were much different than ours. Having spent the past three days loving and cherishing every moment with our little girl today we said a final goodbye as her life gently slipped from her.

God is faithful even in the hard times. I must say that I never had a desire to learn that. However, He who didn’t spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all also has a plan for Susannah, Melanie and my life.

Even though this has been far and away the most challenging, yet also sweetest, time of our lives God took our little Susannah from us in a most gentle way. My heart’s deep concern was that I would have to make some very difficult decisions regarding her care. I did not have to and am so grateful. The Lord had His hand on her little body and it was apparent the entire day that she was not long with us.

Please continue to pray for us as we make this difficult transition. In particular for Melanie as her body is still going through recovery.

Thank you to everyone for their love and support. Little Susannah had such an immeasurable prayer covering.

We love our little Susannah and thank you for doing the same.

Nathan

We’ve had a difficult talk with a neo-natalogist today. Our desire is to be fully yielded to the will of our Lord Jesus Christ. What that will entail we don’t know. Susannah has been given to the Lord. We’ve asked Him to use her as He sees fit. We thought we knew what that looked like. Now we’ve had placed directly before us the fact that our little one may never have fully been with us after birth. We believe life begins at conception and ends when the spirit leaves the body. Susannah’s spirit may have already left.

In total honesty, there is no measurable evidence of brain activity. At first this wasn’t a big deal but each hour that goes by increases the likelihood that it won’t start. I’ve asked the Dr what would cause him to reverse his diagnose and he said she would need to wake up and be able to follow movement with her eyes. Frankly this is about like asking her to climb out of her isolette.

We are praying for Gods direction. We are asking Him to take this difficult decision from us and if He chooses not to give us the grace to do what we need to.

We love you all and thank you for your prayers and support. I read a bunch of blog comments to Susannah last night. She’s even keeping up with what you are saying.

Nathan